Leanne Naidoo’s Neighborhood

The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve.
Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity.
An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with
negative thinking and negative acting people.
As you grow, your associates will change.
Some of your friends will not want you to go on.
They will want you to stay where they are.
Friends that don't help you climb will want you to crawl.
Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream.
Those that don't increase you will eventually decrease you.

Consider this:
Never receive counsel from unproductive people.
Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to
the solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always
first to tell you how.
Not everyone has a right to speak into your life.
You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange
ideas with the wrong person.
Don't follow anyone who's not going anywhere.

With some people you spend an evening: with others you invest it.
Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of
life.
Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships.
If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you
associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights.
"A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown
by the kind of friends he chooses."
The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with
whom you closely associate - for the good and the bad.

Note: Be not mistaken.
This is applicable to family as well as friends.
Yes...do love, appreciate and be thankful for your family, for they
will always be your family no matter what.
Just know that they are human first and though they are family to
you, they may be a friend to someone else and will fit somewhere in
the criteria above.

"In Prosperity Our Friends Know Us.
In Adversity We Know Our Friends."

"Never make someone a priority when you are only an option for them."

"If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the
habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a
prevailing attitude.".......................Colin Powell

What would have happened for a woman to refuse the hand of a man who offers to give up a farm housing over 60 cows and a 5 bedroom house for her hand in marriage?

In my culture a woman is married by offering her parents Lobola also known as bride price, this can be either in the form of  goods, estate, money, cows or a combination of the lot.  It’s a way of saying thank you to the brides family for taking care of the woman until her time of marriage – she will now bear her husbands name, have his children and no longer ‘produce’ for her own family, but her husbands family instead.  There are a few things that determine how much the woman will go for:

1. The mans affluence – what can he afford to offer.
2. Whether or not the woman has ever had children before – if not, she is worth more.
3. Her ability to have children.
4. Her level of education and success.
5. Her perceived beauty
6. Who her family is and her current lifestyle

Among other things.  I know of a woman who died during child birth – her and her fiancé were not yet married.  Not only did he have to pay ‘damages’ [for spoiling her before marriage] – but he also had to pay Lobola or the bride price in order to be allowed to see or take his son, this was all done after the woman died.

Unfortunately, in recent times, families have started demanding more and more – making this tradition a money making practice as opposed to its true intention.  There are now stores that give loans to people who can’t afford Lobola and companies that draw up contracts to make the exchange of goods a legal document. 

The next time a hexillionaire [A millionaire twice over in the US] is impressed by my business banter and thinks the farm he likely stole from a white farmer is what I am worth….I will take it.  Today, I choose my independence, my right of choice and my belief that everything happens when you are good and ready, no sooner.  Don’t allow society to dictate time lines in your life.  Let my ovaries rot till no price tag can be placed on my worth. It’s your happiness that matters – nothing more. Do what makes you happy. Yes, listen to the wise, take heed to what they have to say then make your own decision – one that you can live with, because when all the other influences in your life go to sleep at night, they are not thinking about you.

You are worth more than what money can buy.

PS. If you and your family are currently starving or can’t afford go to a doctor when sick or you genuinely believe no other eligible bachelor will ever look your way – please take the offer and run.  This may just be the best thing that ever happened to you. 

Madlin - My mom

I last saw my mom over 6 years ago. She hasn't changed a bit - its crazy, the woman does not age.  Everyone else looks like life and age has taken a toll on them and she just looks young, vibrant and full of energy.  Her usual self. This woman taught me unconditional love and I thank her for it.

We are walking together in the morning and trying to eat healthy....she wieghs less than I do - its terrible! That has to change - fast! Anyway, meet Madlin Munjanganja - my baby.

Mall

P1010573

P1010626

I live in the 2nd largest city in Zimbabwe called Bulawayo which is in the Matabeleland province - where people prodominently speak a language called Ndebele. I am a Shona speaking Zimbabwean with a very limited understanding of the Ndebele language, I can understand it, but barely speak it. Fortunately, Zimbabwe has a very high literacy rate - so people can naturally switch to English.

The city is known for its very wide roads, beautiful parks, victorian buildings, museum's, art galleries and craft centers. I have been here for a week now  and have received requests for landscape, mountains, rivers, animals that kind of thing.  I hate to disappoint you - Bulawayo is a flat city, probably flatter than Fort Lauderdale, Florida.  When you look to the north, south, east or west all you see are buildings, road, trees and sky!  I would call it a concrete jungle, but that would be pushing it. The closest mountainous area we have is the Matopos National Park which is an hour to 2 hour drive due to pot-holes before you start seeing mountains. The park has amazing scenery which I will visit soon!  Our wild animals don't roam the street - lol - they are housed at the Chipangali Wildlife Orphanage and Research Center - so if you want to see lions, rhino's, leopards etc - this is the best place to go. 

I have witnessed disappointment from foreigners who have visited in the past, expecting to find a jungle only to be met by a city.  I will be uploading pictures to give you a clear indication of the civilization that is the 3rd world. If the media cared to show the civilized parts of Africa, people would have a better idea of the continent as a whole - but they prefer to portray us as the continent that only houses poverty, disease and lack of civilization. I have so much to tell and a lot to show.  But first - where i grew up - Bulawayo - my city.

We were listening to some hip-hop music this morning, bopping our heads and clicking our fingers to "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix A Lot - in the song, he expresses his love for a larger gluteus maximus saying "I like big butts and I cannot lie" he then proceeds chastise the media and magazines for promoting thinner women "So Cosmo says you're fat, well I ain't down with that" He seems to believe that every average black man agrees "I'm tired of magazines, Sayin' flat butts are the thing, Take the average black man and ask him that She gotta pack much back" he cautions against any aggressive work-out that could potentially result in the loss of the gluteus maximus saying " You can do side bends or sit-ups, But please don't lose that butt" and then proceeds to promote what he thinks should be the staple diet for creating his ideal women "Give me a sister, I can't resist her, Red beans and rice didn't miss her"

Now with all due respect Sir Mix A Lot - I believe it is our social responsibility to promote good health particularly among women - I have been told 'I like the weight you are trying to lose' and as genuine as that may sound, do you also like the heart attack I am about to have?  Our men [by our men I am referring to black men] want us to believe that its ok to live on a high carb diet to maintain our curves in order to remain attractive, they also deter us from working out as it results in the ultimate demise of our buttocks - I have often wondered why there are fewer black women who work out than white women - could this have something to do with it?

Some of our men listen to rap music and watch pornography and suddenly think it’s ok and quite complimentary to say anything that comes to mind regarding a woman’s figure.  Gone are the days when you had to dress a certain way to attract the wrong kind of attention - now you can be clad in a 2-piece suite on your way to work, if you happen to come across the a man whose tongue knows no boundaries, he will say things like:

-         your ass should have a zip code of its own, it should pay taxes

-         good damn – God bless America [this said while he walks behind you]

-         stop-it, stop-it – you are hurting me [this said while he drives past you as you jog]

-         its beautiful – never lose that thing [by thing he means – your bottom]

-         Where did you get all that – from your mamma?

-         You don’t need an ID to enter – that’s your ID right there [said while he points at your bottom and is meant to ID everyone]

-         Thank your mamma for me

-         I would pay to be your jeans

-         I like the weight you are trying to lose [also said while you jog]

-         Damn you are thick [According to the urban dictionary, thick means: “A woman with a perfect body, filled-in in places that are by nature, designed to attract the opposite sex, such as the thighs, the hips, the breasts, and the most lovely part of all, the booty”  I copied this definition word for word: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=thick

I have often wondered what kind of reactions these comments are suppose to elicit.  . Where I am from – a man would not dare say anything of this nature to a woman but would somehow find ways to show interest in a woman without reducing her into an object of sexual interest. Now don’t get me wrong, there are millions of good men out there who have not been tainted by what they watch on TV or hear on the radio, men who respect women and our worth.  These are the men good mothers raised and honorable fathers mentored.  Men who respect us for our intelligence, wit and common sense – men who see us as the future mothers of their children, future presidents, doctors and CEO’s. Men who remember that we are someone’s daughter, sister, aunt, mother and grand-daughter. To these men, I salute you.

I believe with all my heart that we were born to procreate and in order for the world to continue to be populated, men must pursue women, risk rejection, get up and try again – but a lady need only respond to those advances that are aligned to her worth.  Let’s put a stop to this black women, we are not what are portrayed to be in music videos or rap lyrics.  We do not have to be defined by an industry whose growth is fostered by exploiting willing females.

 I will always embrace the span of my hips, the arch of my back, the slim of my waist and the size of my bits but I refuse to acknowledge anyone or anything that can’t see beyond that.  I am a black woman and I am worth it.  

I have lived in this world 28 years and only once has someone tried to hurt me – I am not cut out for this – but my genetic deposition demands that I rise above it, so rise above it I did.  I asked myself 2 questions: what have I learnt from this experience? And how can I grow from this? The color of my world is unchanged.  I had a boyfriend who for years was puzzled at my view of the world “life is not as rosy as you make it Mildred”, “one day something will happen to you and you will stop thinking things are so perfect”, “you have to stop assuming good of everything and realize that %$#* happens”.  I never once doubted what he said, but my theory on life is rather different.  The world is whatever shade you paint it in – your perception of things; your views are what make your world.  You choose to be happy, you choose to be at peace – no-one can take choice away from you.

Imagine 2 prisoners, both in the same camp subjected to the same torture: one is happy and spends all his time finding ways to keep his sanity and joy.  The other is miserable, focusing always on his plight and how he can die.  Which prisoner are you? If you lost your job today, would you lament at how unfair life was or would you take it as an opportunity for change.  It’s all about perception.

So I woke up this morning like most mornings and stepped outside, smelt the air and thought – I love this life, I would not trade it for the world.  I have a middle toe smaller than the rest and I love it! I have freckles on my back and they are me.  I can be snappy when not having a great day but this too is me.   Every flaw in my being is where it’s supposed to be. I can forgive anyone of anything because I am not perfect.  For me each day is about constant improvement – how can I leave things better than I found them? I have a pair of eyes that allow me to see the world through lens of change and hope.

So take this away with you, you are master of your own thoughts and feelings and the world is what you make it – it’s your world – love it!

Everyone in the office knows my disdain for post-it-notes.

My theory is if you have something to say, send it in an e-mail.

So l got to work and was told my boss [who is currently traveling] needed to speak to me urgently, he could not be reached on his cell phone but had left a couple of numbers I could reach him on.  I ran to my office to find post-its everywhere with loads of numbers on them.

It was hilarious! Now get to work!

DSC_0043

You are a great speaker! No matter what anybody says.  Think about it, you spend all day babbling about things of no consequence, then when you are confronted by a camera or a large group of people, you brain fools you  into believing there is a problem.

What can you do to become a great speaker:

1. Brain plasticity: Your brain grows and adapts in response to change - so if you apply frequency, intensity and duration to any application after a while your brain will change to accommodate what it has learnt.  Our brains are also receptive to mood and the messages we feed them - so a positive attitude will do wonders for your brain growth.

2. Know your content: there is nothing worse than listening to someone who clearly has no clue what they are talking about.  If you make yourself familiar with the subject matter, it makes it easy to respond to any question asked about the subject.

3. Humor: Whern you make people smile, they like you immediately.  Humor is instrumental in making you calm down - your heart rate slows down, you find yourself smiling and your audience start to smile with you.

4. Passion: Be passionate about what you are talking about.  People will find you believable and more exciting to listen to when you apply passion.

5. Look great: I realize this is my remeby to everything:-) but it works.  When you look great, you feel great and something happens to your posture. Whatever image you are trying to portray can be achieved or destroyed by your attire.

6. Arrive on time, take deep breaths, remember you are only speaking to another human being and have fun.

TV can be tricky - at times you may have a live presentation where you actually get to speak to an anchor standing in front of you, then at other times, it;s a little different. My ABC appearance was...different.  I had to speak to a camera and respond to a voice plugged into my ear - there was a small delay in sound transmission and I could not see what was being shown on the screen - so it was tough.  

All great speakers started somewhere, so I plan on doing a better job next time, till then, enjoy....

I have observed our competition over the years and it has come to my attention that they will do anything to achieve a sustainable competitive advantage.  Now you have to pay attention - the process is rather involved:

1. Determine who is your biggest competition.

2. Observe the calendar to determine the most opportune time to launch your campaign.

3. Look for the most blood clogging, cholesterol building, heart disease causing cookies on the market. 

4. Remove the food label that highlights exactly how many calories are in each cookie and buy enough to feed an army.

5. Buy expensive packaging and a nice card.

6. Write a nice message to the competition - something along the lines of a prosperous year.

7. Ship package and card to competition and wait for their demise.

Its a rather interesting process to observe - the cookies arrive and the scramble begins - what appears to be a nice gesture from the competition is consumed amid laughter and joy.

Minutes later a string of complaints begins: 'my head hurts', 'I have a stomach ache', 'I feel so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open' ' can I leave early today' among other not-so positive sentiments.

Before you know it, the competition has lost one productive day of business and you have won what is called 'the competitive edge'.